Is saying what’s on your mind with regards to letting someone know how much you don’t like them really that important? Is having the last word so important that it causes a rift between you and another? Do you really need to give someone a piece of your mind? I say to you, it’s not that important. You may one day need that piece of mind that you are so freely giving away today. Keep a whole mind. Trade that PIECE of mind for PEACE of mind. So beware and remember, that someday, that knock at your door could very well be that which you’ve served to others coming back to serve you. Do not be fooled, we indeed one day in some way reap what we’ve sown. As I’ve said before, believe it or not, there is a universal justice and the eyes of truth are always watching you. May you sow love, kindness and understanding so the same may one day come back to you.
When night falls, it brings about a relative form of peace to me. The hustle and bustle of the world seems to slow down. My mind is more at ease and my soul is more calm. Through the years, I have come to find my peace even in the light of day. That in itself, was not an easy feat. Once, that seemed light years away. Those times were mostly dark and gray. I wanted to spend my life wrapped in the darkness, covered from the world, never wanting to appear in the light. But once I discovered the light, nothing has ever been more appealing. The warmth of the light on my face is indescribable. If I had never discovered that light, I would not be married to my wonderful husband. There is a sparkle and light in his eyes and heart that defy words. I welcome myself to the light. may you all find peace and light.
Around the world in my lifetime. At least it feels as though I’ve traveled countless miles back and forth in my life’s journey. The journey began without my consent. It began as a child that lost her parents as well as her voice. Others decided what was in my best interest. Now I find myself trying to find that place to call home but to no avail. I find myself trying to find that voice that I lost long ago. Even when I use my inside voice, there is no one to understand what I am really trying to say. I say what I mean. I mean what I say. At least in my mind, that’s the way it is. But in the mind of others, it is left open for interpretation. Whether or not I ever find where I really belong is still up for grabs. Whether or not I ever find my voice likewise remains up for discussion. In the meantime, I keep moving for it is essential to my survival.
I heard someone say that adversities don’t always mean that you are doing something wrong. They can also mean they you are doing something right. Sometimes it bears repeating. A plane never takes off with the wind, it takes off against the wind and it makes it to the destination more often than not. I listened to these words as I considered the many storms of life that I have met. Yes, they eventually subsided but while going through it, there seemed as if there would be no end.
I needed faith to get through these hurricanes of life. These circumstances caused me to ask myself what kind of faith do I have? Is it strong enough to weather these storms? Yes indeed it must have been because I am still standing despite the many times when I thought it would be the end of me. I’ve prayed for deliverance many times and many times I’ve been delivered. Other times, I’ve asked for deliverance but the answer was no. Obviously it didn’t kill me and hopefully I am stronger because of having gone through it. Each has taught me that sometimes you need a delivering faith and sometimes you need a sustaining faith. More times than not, life calls for a sustaining faith.You won’t always be delivered from your trials but will have to endure your tribulations. This endurance calls for a sustaining faith.
The winds of time and change will undoubtedly call into question our faith on more than one occasion. Those same winds usually move us to something better even though we cannot see it at the time. May you stand strong. May your faith intensify with each passing storm. May the winds always move you to something better within yourself and outside of yourself.
The heart longs to beat in sync with another heart. It quickly picks up on a heart that is keeping rhythm with itself. Although they may start out in sync, it doesn’t mean that it will forever remain as such. The heart has the audacity to change its’ mind regardless of what logic says. Emotion (the heart) usually wins out over logic (the brain). Emotion usually wins out over whether the grass is greener on the other side or not. The bible observes that the heart is treacherous, who can know it? Certainly not us. How many of us have given in to the heart only to find out later that it completely deceived us? So be careful and don’t be deceived by one of the greatest deceivers.
Talking with my brother comes with more ease as time goes by. It seemed at times that the only thing we had in common was our mother. As I sit here now pondering over what I thought was differences, I realize now those were only misunderstandings. We are very much the same. The only difference between then and now is that we spend time getting to know one another. I am learning now that we always had plenty in common but didn’t know it because we didn’t know each other. Tears come to my eyes as I listen to him reminisce about our childhood. At first glance, he could be taken as stand-offish. That is far from the truth, what appears as arrogance is just his wall of protection. A wall that I know very well. Hello 2012. Perhaps you will give us the time that we’ve never had, the time to get to know each other.
Is there a definitive definition for the word “LOVE?” Somewhere in my life, I told myself that it was a bad thing to love anyone. I decided this after experiencing so much loss in my life. I seem to lose those whom I loved so dearly. So I convinced myself that to hold on to anyone that I cared about, I would have to love them less.
I realize now, that I did not love them any less. But what I did instead, was to display less love to them. What an awakening! We can convince ourselves of almost anything. If we tell ourselves something long enough, we will eventually begin to believe it.
I awakened in this moment as I sat here thinking about how much I love my husband. Realizing my love for him has freed me. It has freed me from the belief that I was not capable of loving. It has freed me to accept love for myself. It has freed me to feel good about loving my children and my friends. It has freed me to feel good about love.
I don’t know if there is a definitive definition for the word “LOVE.” What I do know is that it is alright to feel good about loving. I have encased myself inside a shell for much too long. I will no longer shelter myself from loving or from being loved. Sometimes there is risk involved in loving but it is a risk for me, that is worth taking.
Freedom feels good.
